2010 Come on?

Should I be happy for 2010, since 2009 was such a shitty year? Lets go back a year ago today... I sat here thinking.. Come on 2009... Since I had just had my first miscarriage. So here it is less than a week away from 2010... do I want it to come? Can this coming year be worse than last year? Or will it be better... Can it be better? The last 352 day.. 2 additional miscarriages, the ups and downs of the hormones, Having a surgery due to one of the miscarriages, the cracking and surgical removal of a tooth they hit while in surgery for my d/e, the death of my grandmother, Being told I have lung nodule that they will have to follow, Being told I have a clotting disorder.. I will be forever on Baby aspirin daily. Is that enough? I will stop listing.... All I can say this year has SUCKED......

So where do we go from here? On to 2010... I really don't have a choice do I? Do you?

I HATE IT!

I can honestly say I hate clomid... I hate progesterone.. I hate that I can not get pregnant. Well let me rephrase that. I hate that I can not stay pregnant. So it is the first cycle of clomid/progesterone. Clomid makes me a weepy sap, and if you know me... it takes alot to make me cry. I cried. I cried over things that were so insignificant.. it was dumb! So I got through the 5 days of Clomid... went for my ultrasound... and had two nice size follies... (were the egg would be released) one was 18 in size and one was 19. Which means they were both mature.. I could of released one or two... or NONE.... So I was told to start the progesterone.. Well doesn't that make you feel pregnant.... ALL FAKE!!! But non the less... all the fun things... Sore as HELL boobs, bloating oh what fun! And my favorite... sick as a damn dog.... nausea! So I decided to stop them on 10 dpo... since I felt like crap... and my temps suck. So I know that this cycle is a bust.... just another cycle... down the proverbial drain of my "I HATE IT" life! So what does this mean?? OH YEA ME!!!! I get to start another cycle of Clomid... and when you ask?? Right in time for Christmas! So I get to have a "BLUE CHRISTMAS" literally!