Urban Ledgends.....

I had to laugh tonight, my son and some friends went looking for a how did they put it... ah this will not be politically correct so I warn you.... a colony of Albino's... Yes I really did just say a colony of Albino's... Now don't get me wrong.. when I was 18 we went looking for the Red & Green Ghost this was in a corn field and you would see the red fog chase and over take the green fog, it was said a farmer killed his son or the Satanic Church that rumored if you came across them they would chase you off the "grounds"... Or how about the "Baby Bridge" said that back in the 1800's a run away horse knocked the mother and baby into the water and if sit on bridge in silence you can hear the baby crying.... or the ever famous Gravity Hill where you park your car in neutral it will roll backwards up the hill...... But the Colony of Albino's take the prize.

Ahhh only to be 18 again, chasing those urban ledgends!!

Facbook

Did you see this??

Put this as your status if you or somebody you know has suffered BABY LOSS. ♥♥♥ The majority won't put it on, because unlike cancer, baby loss is a taboo. ♥♥♥ Break the silence. ♥♥♥ In Memory of all the ~Angel~ babies gone too soon but never forgotten about!!!

Why is it than... people just can't re post the whole thing??? And they had to change it??
Like below???

♥♥♥ in memory of the angels that my family and friends have lost but will never forget.

So they take out the part that was meant for the most recognition? The part that shows... You support me and the other women in this world ??? That right it is taboo... People do not acknowledge that people like me.. have lost pregnancies.. I lost three babies.. They will post all about Cancer.. But they couldn't just post this whole little saying? Why?

A year down

Yesterday was Jan 2nd 2010... a year ago I got a BFP... (Big Fat Positive) on my HPT (Home Pregnancy test)..... Only to m/c (miscarriage) that baby.... on Friday New Years day... I met my Dr to have my CD12 (Cycle Day 12) U/S (Ultra Sound)... I walk in at 8am... after I worked all night.. and just to make small talk.. any babies last night? He said no.. I didn't get out of here till 8pm... I said Awwe... he put me in the room.. turned to me and said... it is only cute for everyone else to have their babies on Christmas Eve/Day and New Years Eve/Day, Not to my family" and shut the door... I sat their for a min.. and was like.. hum, I guess I will try not to get pregnant just so you can have time with your family... YOU DICK! He than came back in and and did the U/S I had one "perfect Follie" as he put it..(This is my second cycle of clomid... last month I had to Follies.. and got a BFN.... look above.. if P mean Positive.... You got it N means Negative!) than he asked me what plans I have for today.. I said I will be going home to sleep... since I spent my New Years working since 630 last night.... TOUCHE' My 12 1/3 hour shift trumps your "I was here till 8pm".. You know Doc.. isn't that part of being a doc??? That's why you get paid the big bucks... so suck it cupcake... put your big boy pants on... and deal with it.

2010 Come on?

Should I be happy for 2010, since 2009 was such a shitty year? Lets go back a year ago today... I sat here thinking.. Come on 2009... Since I had just had my first miscarriage. So here it is less than a week away from 2010... do I want it to come? Can this coming year be worse than last year? Or will it be better... Can it be better? The last 352 day.. 2 additional miscarriages, the ups and downs of the hormones, Having a surgery due to one of the miscarriages, the cracking and surgical removal of a tooth they hit while in surgery for my d/e, the death of my grandmother, Being told I have lung nodule that they will have to follow, Being told I have a clotting disorder.. I will be forever on Baby aspirin daily. Is that enough? I will stop listing.... All I can say this year has SUCKED......

So where do we go from here? On to 2010... I really don't have a choice do I? Do you?

I HATE IT!

I can honestly say I hate clomid... I hate progesterone.. I hate that I can not get pregnant. Well let me rephrase that. I hate that I can not stay pregnant. So it is the first cycle of clomid/progesterone. Clomid makes me a weepy sap, and if you know me... it takes alot to make me cry. I cried. I cried over things that were so insignificant.. it was dumb! So I got through the 5 days of Clomid... went for my ultrasound... and had two nice size follies... (were the egg would be released) one was 18 in size and one was 19. Which means they were both mature.. I could of released one or two... or NONE.... So I was told to start the progesterone.. Well doesn't that make you feel pregnant.... ALL FAKE!!! But non the less... all the fun things... Sore as HELL boobs, bloating oh what fun! And my favorite... sick as a damn dog.... nausea! So I decided to stop them on 10 dpo... since I felt like crap... and my temps suck. So I know that this cycle is a bust.... just another cycle... down the proverbial drain of my "I HATE IT" life! So what does this mean?? OH YEA ME!!!! I get to start another cycle of Clomid... and when you ask?? Right in time for Christmas! So I get to have a "BLUE CHRISTMAS" literally!

I am now going to be a Clomid Chick...

So after another failed cycle of Natural trying to get pregnant. I will now start fertility drugs. Starting Tuesday, Clomid will now be my drug of choice. How will it make me feel you ask? Well not like those good street drugs... I will have Hot flashes, irritability and bitchiness (Now doesn't that get you in the mood to have sex?) Some people have visual disturbances... like halo's and trailers.. OHHH doesn't this sound like fun? Oh and who wants to leave out the severe tiredness, How about feeling like your ovaries are going to explode! OH BOY, CAN'T WAIT! Other things are the increased risk of multiple (more than 2) and twins (every woman has a 1 in 60 chance, while I will have a 1 in 10 chance of twins or more) , weight gain (How sexy), Abdominal Pain , discomfort and bloating... (Now how the hell am I going to be in the mood?) And the MOST common Nausea, headaches, and dizziness. Were do you sign up you ask?? Well I am so sorry to have to tell you this, It is club that I don't think any of you want to be a part of. I know I sure as hell don't. I never thought I would be taking drugs to try and have a baby... So on to clomid... Will this be the end or just the begining???

To see or Not to see.. South of the Border

As I sat waiting for the PA in my OBGYN office to come in and check my "follies" (They will be the mature eggs that my ovaries will release)... Cam came in and said I have an Intern may she come in? I of course say yes. Tom is sitting behind me to left, the Ultrasound Machine to my right. I hear him laugh. I turn and ask him what is so funny? He said well no hesitation on letting any one in, Come on in!!! .... Then in hits me... Just how many people in the last 11 months have "SEEN" my unmentionables.... Well let me count the ways..... Humm lets see, you have, Cam and the Assistant, Than Dr D, than the WHOLE OR staff, the PACU staff (I had Two nurses), Dr D again. Dr A and his Assistant, Cam again, the Intern... And the countless "Instruments" along the way... and all the while... I am getting no enjoyment nor payment for my "free shows" ... on the contrary I am paying them... I should start charging admission.. maybe get a tattoo for entertainment purposes for the countless visitors that my "South of the Border" has been hosting.